Three eyes

After thirty years of being lense-free, I type this post wearing my first pair of glasses. Things are brighter. Rounder? I think that’s the “fishbowl” in effect. And I have a headache.

Sometime in Vietnam, we went to a hospital to visit a friend (who had a bad case of the stomach flu), and there was an eye chart outside the door. I stood next to Slow Boy (who wears contacts) and we observed he can see much further and that my left eye is, well, terrible. It also dawned on him that this could be why I fall ALL THE TIME (here’s my most recent one); I probably have bad depth perception or something!

I’ve actually always noticed this — the vision thing, that is.  As a child, I went to the eye doctor fairly regularly and knew I was guessing whenever it came to reading the chart with my left eye. I thought they’d call me out on my failure (somehow eye exams really felt like tests to me), but they never prescribed anything. My right one is 20/20 and I could see well enough. So I’ve gone my whole life with this “perfect” vision and not needing glasses, which is rare in my family where many are legally blind.

But you know… I guess I should have put two and two together with the depth perception. Clumsy is yet another one of my nicknames. I’ve fallen running more times in a year than Slow boy has in his running lifetime. Add biking to that list. I don’t have, ahem, a perfect driving record. Just recently, I was making a right turn where I swear I didn’t see the car coming on left. Neither did the Crow, who was looking with me. We were both baffled where it came from, but fortunately I have pretty awesome reflexes to make up for it. But now I wonder: maybe I was relying on my almost-blind left eye!

So, I went to the eye doctor and sure enough, she explained that I have a common case of essentially monovision. Luckily, my left eye has not stopped working altogether (and thus hasn’t become lazy lefty), but she said it might be a good idea to have a pair of glasses for safety. She did mention driving 🙂 Actually, her reason was should something fall into my right eye, I’d be, well, blind and dangerous.

It was an amusing visit to the doctor because I had to choose my glasses right then and there. Having recently spent hours (yes, multiple ones) picking out Couch Potato’s, I was terrified to do this on my own. My face isn’t quite made for glasses: it’s wide and short, I have no bridge, and my ears are lop-sided. I’ve avoided sunglasses my whole life for partly these reasons. But luckily the girl helping me out was destined to pick out glasses. You wouldn’t believe how much fun she has doing this, nor how brutally honest she was! She said no one goes home looking stupid when she picks them out. She absolutely loves glasses, feels like it’s a part of her, and has multiple frames, including bright yellow. I was very entertained and basically let her, and everyone she surveyed in the room, pick out a pair.

And voila! Here I am with my three eyes (the right one barely has a prescription). I’m breaking them in today; people at work people don’t recognize me. I’m also walking more to my left — not sure why. Anyway, it’s a bit overwhelming to see so much detail (I really need to wear more lotion) so I had to take them off before this post was done.

(Eventually I want to use contacts because the real goal is to wear them while exercising. And don’t try to sell me on “croakies”.)



  1. Natalie · · Reply

    Adorable, Annie!! (How did I get the first comment?!?)

  2. welcome to the club, annie.
    i have lopsided ears too, the frame only rests on my right ear.
    and no wonder you had such a lousy forehand!!!

  3. yup, my ears are lopsided and my face is really shallow, so it’s always hard to fit glasses to my face! congrats on your first pair! i’ve been a klutz my whole life as well, but i’ve been wearing corrective lenses since forever! 🙂 i’m glad you had an awesome girl helping you choose frames. i love choosing glasses, too, and i think you can never have too many. they’re a fun accessory!

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